citrusanime

First thing is college. Where should I begin on that? It was very busy, and stressful but I manage to survive the whole semester. the two classes I've taken were English and Music history.

Despite, English suppose to improve my writing skills, I still really suck at using proper grammar ha,ha but nevertheless I've stilled learned so much from the class. I know how to properly write an essay and things to avoid using while writing. And by god, do I have to say it's one of the most HARDEST classes I ever taken. There were numerous stressful moment's I thought I'd never pass but despite all that, I've really enjoyed the class. It gave me experience on what it's like to step into my parent's shoes and what it's like to step into parent's or pretty much any hard working person in general. 

I've always had everything easy and prepared in much of my life and I still do. But I wanted to become more of a independent person. Or show that I can work hard. I feel blessed that I'm able to live the way I am now. When I think about it... I never really thought too much of my disabilities such as OCD, autism( I believe I grew out of it or so I hear) and ADHD. I've probably said this before and I'll say it again. When I go to college I can truly feel the impact of my disabilities holding me back.

ADHD is the most common disabilities and it's really terrible. No matter how hard I try to focus or pay attention in class, either I can't keep up with the professors lecture because on how fast they were going or simply not understand that they trying to teach when it should be easy and obvious to understand. And these are classes that I LIKE. I want to learn and pay attention but the way my brain function's refuses to let me learn.

However, I'm sure I've talked about the ADHD medications and I finally found 1 that doesn't severely effect my sleeping patterns. There was one medication where I could get NO sleep at all for one week and I've mentioned this before but when you've been sleep deprived for that long you experience really weird things. Once I discovered the medicine was causing problems, I stopped taking it and everything was okay. The current medicine I'm taking is called Strattera. So far it's the only medication that actually DOES work and help me concentrate. Ever since I've taken it my life improved significantly because of it. No groggy or tired minds all day and I've also noticed it prevented me doing weird or hyperactive and random acts. Unfortunately, for my case I'm born with so many crappy genes. Like bad eyesight, flat-feet, a family line of high blood pressure, the list just simply goes on. For some people when they take medication non of them experience any side effects or get use to medication in which they have to take more in order to get the same benefit. Unfortunately for me I get use to medication REALLY fast, so I have to keep taking more in order to get the same effects. I was extremely lucky my meds worked until the end of the semester. I had to tape it off during winter break because the sides effects were giving me horrible headaches and I have to say... taping it off was NOT pleasant at all! For a few days I suffered pretty bad depression, had a really scrambled mind and couldn't concentrate. It wasn't fun but I had to in order for the meds to start working again. 

With a person who has so many crappy genes it makes me question do I really have a future? the current fields of I'm studying are English and music but from what I've gathered there not exactly jobs that make a lot of income. I might not even be able to get a position or make a living off of it, meaning I might have to get a dead end job that nobody likes and even then I might not be able to get something like that! Like I've said, I lucky... I'm practically blessed that I'm able to live a life like this! I'm able to spend money fairly free without any troubles or worries, and while I'm really trying not to brag I drive a nice car and I even got a house prepared for me that I can move in anytime I want! My mom works so hard for me to live that's probably a fairly luxurious or comfortable life. She hates her work a lot and wishes to do something different but she can't. The reason why she continues with her dead-end job is because of me. That's what I love about my mom so much...she doesn't care whether I choose to not get a job or decide to slack off my whole life. As long as she knows that I'm happy with life that's all that matters to her and will continue to work as long as I'm comfortable. I'm one of the most luckiest people in the world to have a mom this caring. Like I said with the many disabilities I have it's really hard to know what my future will be like. I've practically got a comfortable and happy future that's already set for me. But I'm not sure if that's going to last or not. I heard at my parent's work place they're having a bit of a financial and constantly trying to find ways to get more clients. Mom can get a job easily with her current positions since they're always in need of them. What's shes worried about is that if her workplace goes out of business she won't be able to get her big retirement they promised in the next 10 years or so. Meaning that me and my entire family could have the possibility of being really financially tight. While it is concerning I can't worry about something that may or may not happen. All that I can do at this point is do my best to pursue my dream career and learn how to manage money wisely.

Hmmm what else?

I've gotten myself a sweet brand new computer because the last one had really kicked the bucket. I don't really understand how it died but it was experiencing a lot of blue screens and was extremely slow. The geek squad couldn't even figure out the problem was because the programs they use to find out what's wrong wouldn't work. So after having a windows 7 for 4 years I finally had no choice but to switch to windows 8. And surprisingly isn't as bad as everyone thinks. It was an enormous hassle having to install all my programs again but luckily, geek squad was at least able to save all my music and pictures. But most of all my drawings and music creations were safe. Sure the metro interface still kind of sucks but luckily the desktop mode is easy to find and use. So what do I have to overall about windows 8? With the 8.1 update its bearable and had no problems adapting to it. What makes windows 8 awesome is that the current one I have is slimmer in size then my last one but has tons of more space and power so I'm finally able to play all the games off of steam that required a fair amount of power. In general it's just fast! So take my word. Sure it's a bit of a pain having to learn a couple of brand new things but once you get use to it, you'll be able to do things normally again.

Oh and during winter break I stayed at my step-sister's place for the weekend and she taught me a couple of drawings techniques for paint tool SAI. I've given up completely on hand drawing on paper but thanks to her she gave me some hope and motivation to try getting me back into it. I don't know what I'm going to do with drawing in the future. College is going to eat up a lot of my time. For digital it may take quite sometime before I start making another one. As for hand drawing... I'm thinking of getting back into it. With my sister's teaching me how to improve upon them I might start posting them once I feel confident enough that I've improved enough upon them. 

And that's all I can think of at the moment. By the time I'm writing this I'm going back to college tomorrow. I'm going to be busy again but I'll do my best to be active and keep you guys updated with drawings and other things! 

I want to sincerely thank you all those who actually watch me and like my artwork. Even though I don't post drawings that often I'm still frequently on DA everyday. Still though I thank all of you for staying this long and becoming my watch!

Until then I'll catch you guys later!