Journal Entry: Sat Jun 16, 2012, 11:07 PM
Hey guys sorry if I hadn't made a journel for a while I've been busy during the past week. But anyways I finally graduated from High School! After many blood, sweat and tears I finally graduated after four long years of my life. Its been a long but fun journey. While I always did say that I hate school and that I want to graduate immediately. I can't really say that's entirely true. During the past years I had a few friends I had seen that graduated and during my senior year was pretty lonely. I didn't even have any friends to talk to or spend time with and the only companions I ever had were my novels. But there were a few things I did enjoy and they were the memories I spended with my friends there and all the nice teachers that supported me during the years. The memories I made during high school I will continue to remember for as long as I live.
Hmm their's many things I want to express in this journal but I'm kind of having a hard time lol but I'll try my best!
Anyways to first start off, since I graduated from highschool my mom has given me the opportunity to goof off for 6 months. What I'm going to do in those 6 months is to build up my productive hobbies and hoping I improve them. What I hope to acomplish is to during these 6 months is that well... I'm hoping that it will help me boost the chances of making money of the things I love to do but you know what? After having a conversation, with my mother I realized that even that's hard to achieve... after learning that I was depressed for a while. But then after that my mom told me that even if I can't accomplish my life goal I must find a reason to live. I must have a purpose then I realized, that I have many reasons to keep living. For one thing I've already gotten a good life, I have dogs to take care of and I have a friends and family that care about me. Its not end of the world. Sure, I be sad if I can't accomplish my life goal. I mean really, who knows? I might actually be able to pull it off one day and make a living off the things I love to do. But If I can't then I must grab reality and accept an average life. An average life isn't that bad I mean as long as I can find happy moments in my life doesn't that all matter? I feel like I've grasped on reality even more now. Basically, if you can't accomplish your goal don't despair and be deppresed. Find your reason to live and be happy.
Enough about that! What else have want to talk about? Oh yeah!
I'll be going to Los Angeles for Anime Expo! Another graduation gift after going to Fanimecon. Hmm I wonder what Anime Expo is like? I'm kind of nervous since Los Angeles is a big city and while I'm staying at a hotel that only 2 blocks from the convention I'm actually thinking I would get lost... but then again I'm pretty sure there are a whole lot of consplayers that have been to Anime Expo a whole lot. I could simply ask one of the attendents If I can follow along. I'm pretty sure they won't mind since a whole lot of consplayers are very friendly.
Oh man its been so damn long since I've actually uploaded my own original drawings ever since my senior year I haven't drawn anything original of my own in MONTHS and while even now I have the opportunity to start drawing I just don't know... I have a few reasons why I'm not drawing. 1. I think I'm afraid to draw because I feel like I lost some of my drawing ability therefore, creating crappy drawings? 2. I have so many other things to do I could do but couldn't because of school. but now I can. 3. Not enough motivation perhaps. Well, either way I'm trying my best to motivate myself and get back into drawing.
Even, though its been like only two-three weeks since I've graduated. I think I'm actually growing immensely bored. I think I want a job! But due to this economy still how can I? I'm really sick and tired of it. Never, have I ever had any work experience. I want to know how it feels like to work hard. To feel what its like to make your own money instead of always being spoiled and mooching off of your parents. Well... one can only hope this economy will get better someday.
I've been feeling like more of an adult now since I'm offically 18. And hey! It comes with a few advantages I can buy all the adult stuff now.... and I have my own credit card on which helps me learn how to pay the bills in a way and... I can't figure any other advantages at the moments but I'm sure I'll figure it out!
I think that's all for now. I'll try to post more journals more often when possible.